Michael Jackson

I can’t say we were ever big fans of Michael Jackson, even in his glory years growing up. We enjoyed Weird Al Yankavich’s renditions of “Bad” and “Beat It” more than the actual songs Jackson put out. Having him pass brings to mind what a following he had, and what a fanatical presence he had in our generation. The generation of most parents today.

We spoke at the Christian Home Educators of Colorado a week ago on two topics. The first was our regular “Cheaper by the Dozen” talk on how to be frugal and fruitful. That talk was rehearsed, interesting, fun. It was a safe talk.

The second talk was “Love in the House.” Sure, we wrote the book two years ago, but we had yet to speak in a formal public setting on the most important (in our opinion) issue facing families today: LOVE. Or the lack of it. We spoke for 60 minutes on two settings of love and how parents (especially those in the home school community) are failing to place love in the center of them: marriages and raising children.

There were some people sobbing through the talk. Like, uncontrollably sobbing. We emphasized the need (that’s NEED, not option) for married couples’ mutual submission to one another. We both spoke to parents and those children (everyone could relate) that “got under their skin.” Our talk reminded people that they had dreadful relational challenges in their lives. These are opportunities to let love in. In several situations, love is the only hope parents have.

But back to Michael Jackson, one of seven children. I haven’t been really into the media frenzy, but my daughter, Cynthia, suggested I read Rabbi Shmuley Boteach’s take (see his article here). I have enjoyed Shmuley’s writings (particularly his book Face Your Fear). Apparently he had a friendship with Michael Jackson and counseled him for several years. Shmuley quotes Michael Jackson:

“I think all my success and fame, and I have wanted it, I have wanted it because I wanted to be loved. That’s all. That’s the real truth. I wanted people to love me, truly love me, because I never really felt loved. I said I know I have an ability. Maybe if I sharpened my craft, maybe people will love me more. I just wanted to be loved…”

Michael Jackson now joins John Lennon as a deceased rock star who died singing about love yet never really knowing it. The number of critics crying foul over Jackson’s hypocrisy are stacked to the ceiling. They point at his molestation charges (not conviction), his obsession with his face, his addiction to prescription drugs. All of these things are ugly consequences of a life overwhelmed with worldly fame and fortune, but so empty of God’s love.

It would be too easy to condemn Michael Jackson for missing the mark on love, so don’t add me onto the list of stone-throwers. For a moment, hold your judgment and ask this question: “Are we singing about love?” Don’t blow this one off. LOVE IS IT, and if we’re not singing love—in all who we are and in all we do, especially in our marriages and in our families—the music we make in our lives are loud noises, just gongs and clanging cymbals (1 Corinthians 13:1).

This is heavy stuff, apparently the heavy stuff Shmuley claimed was the real problem with Michael Jackson. He had not love. Couples at CHEC shared with us their stuggles in their marriages and with their children. There were genuine tears of sorrow from several people who were met with the reality that their lives were absent of love.

We home-schoolers are real good at building up the image of our homes and flaunt about how great we are. Our kids excel far above the national average and are getting such better education than the common folk. Our talk on love was nicely placed (PTL) in one of the most popular home school conferences in the nation.

One of the more convicting parts of the talk was off-script:

“We entertain ourselves when we visit churches or their Web sites or their book stores. If love is truly the most excellent way as Scripture says, I wonder how many sermons are preached on love, or how many books on love they are selling. Most of the time there is not one. Our churches are speaking on a whole host of other things, but not on love.”

Perhaps…because of the church’s empty message of love, we are faced with a popular culture who cry out the for real thing.

The rock stars and Hollywood–twisted as their message may be–are attempting to articulate love. Churches treat love like window dressing, like feel-good fluff, expendable discussion points much less important than more meaty topics like theology, or truth, or you-fill-in-the-blank. Who is coming closer to hitting the mark?

Michael Jackson asked Shmuley the right question. He at least aimed at the right target. He did (at least at that point of his life) understand that love was “the most excellent way” (1 Corninthians 12:31), the Greatest Commandment, one where “all the laws of the prophets hang on these.”

So Wendy and I will keep preaching this message of love. It is overwhelming at times, feeling like we are mere students of love and of each other. But there are few message bearers out there that are singing of the most excellent way.

It has been such a long time since we posted last, nearly a month. We were limited in our Internet access while on vacation (not such a bad thing, really), so we enjoyed traveling from Wisconsin (our last post) to Minnesota to South Dakota to home. Here’s a rundown:

• Spoke in Elk River on “Cheaper by the Dozen.” Got a chance to connect with the Bjorkmans…great people.
• Visits at my folk’s in Royalton. I reconnected with my best friend from high school, Travis Glanzer. It had been over 15 years!
• Reconnecting with my sister, Kate, and her family in Tenstrike. Helped put the dock in with Jerry and his son at Birch Haven Resort. The waders leaked and we got very cold.
• Spent a few days with our friends, the Heppners, in Warroad, a stone’s throw from Canada. We visited the Wm. Marvin Visitor Center. Wow, what a museum! A must-see if you ever make it up there.
• Spent an entire day with Mennonites for a field day of track in Black Duck. More great people. The Jeubs left a few quarts of blood for the local flock of mosquitoes.
• Traveled to Yankton, SD, to spend time with dear friends, the Leets. Spent the whole day water skiing at Louis & Clark State Park. I got up on one ski on my first try! Hadn’t tried that since the mid-90’s. Still got it in me. (I lasted about 5 minutes, and I think I’m still soar in some spots.)

Once we returned, we got right to work on several things. One, we remodeled our kitchen. We had a good friend do much of the work while we were gone. The remodel is one that is totally practical: it opens up our living area and kitchen area considerably. I will try to find time to post on this and how we did this remodel at a fraction of the cost of a typical remodel. You’ll find it interesting.

I am bringing Cynthia and Lydia to South Carolina on Friday to compete at the NCFCA National Tournament. We will have a booth for Training Minds Ministry, so this is a business trip for me. Cynthia qualified in Lincoln-Douglas Debate, and Lydia in Original Oratory. They would appreciate your prayers!

Wendy and I really covet your prayers, too. I am flying home early from Nationals to join Wendy for the Christian Home Educators of Colorado Conference, one of the largest conferences in the nation. We’re speaking on two subjects: (1) Cheaper by the Dozen and (2) Love in the House. The first we’ve done several times, but the second is challenging.

Sure, we wrote the book, but we haven’t spoken on it yet. God is weighing on our hearts to get very direct in several ways. We have a burning conviction in us to speak out more about the importance of “love in the house”–in our marriages, dealing with our children, with our extended family, in our churches and neighborhooods.

We’ve got so many valuable things to say about LOVE, but our time is extremely limited from now till then. As I type I’m thinking, “Why are you writing this blog posting? You’ve got work to do!”

I believe in the power of prayer, and Wendy and I ask you to pray for the Jeubs. We need clarity, courage, obedience, and a servant’s heart for the next couple weeks. We really appreciate it!