Troubled Teens? We Think They’re Awesome

Troubled Teens

We often hear of the “troubled teen.” The idea is this…

Teenagers are full of hormones.
Teenagers are illogical.
Teenagers argue with authority.

Basically, they’re “troubled.” We should expect it. We should prepare ourselves for years of parenting that will be exhausting.

How about we throw this idea out the window? Instead…

Teenagers are our children on the verge of growing into adults.
Teenagers are owning their beliefs and thinking through what they’ve been taught.
Teenagers attempt to separate our mistakes from the good we have given them.

Line them up with the judgments from the first bulleted list. It’s a change of perspective that has given us such an optimistic view of this stage of life.

We think teens are awesome.

About Chris & Wendy Jeub

The Jeub Family live in Monument, Colorado, with 14 of their 16 children. They encourage couples to love God and love one another, building an atmosphere of love in their homes.

Jillaine Wonick

I absolutely agree!! We were told when our son was born that we “needed” to be tougher on boys than girls. Today, at the age of 23 3/4, we have gotten nothing but complements about him. My parents have also received many complements about their grandson. They are so proud of him! My mother has said you couldn’t ask for a more thoughtful, caring, better grandson then Corey!! We have never thought of him as arguementative, troublesome, etc through those teenage years. It definitely shows!
Elizabeth O. McBride

I agree teens are awesome. If you think teens are so awesome why did you evict Alicia from your home when she was a teen and having some problems?
jem

“What to Expect from a 12 year old” sold at Vision Forum is a very good, whole message on this. Did you know that a century ago, there was no teenagers? They were expected to act as adults!
Madrigaltogrrrl

So awesome, in fact, that you kick them out of your house because they’re not behaving the way you want them, and then only invite them back into your lives because a documentary crew called you out about being hypocrites?
Roberchaux

I have a 14 year old son who I adore! No trouble here… He is doing well! He’s actively involved in school/community and helps other family members with needs and helps me with his 3 younger siblings! My 11 year old daughter is very opinionated but yet also doing well! She made chorus this year and has A’s and B’s. She is also responsible and I have taught them (my 11 and 14 year old) to accept their chores/responsibilities with a positive and cheerful (still working on cheerful) attitude… But they are great. I also have a 4 year old daughter and a 2 year old son and a 1 year old son. The little ones are much more of a challenge. Children are a blessing.
Anonymous

Agreed! I’m only raising my 2nd teen so far, but I’ve been thrilled with the process. They become your friend.
But for the typical teen-aged kid who isn’t given any responsibility, spends all day with same-aged peers, and gets no discipleship from his parents- teens are a real pain in the neck.
Liz

I like your point about them separating out the good and bad from what we have taught them. I think some people think that teens questioning is bad because they automatically associate that with rebellion, and (perhaps subconsciously) are thinking that “because we homeschooled or did xyz then there will be nothing for our kids to question”. In fact the only person we should submit to in that way is the Lord! So if our kids are lining up with the Bereans and searching for true answers, then great! We should be encouraged, not angry.

It’s great to hear you all say what I hope to put into practice when mine get to that age.
Frank Burns

I think that most troubled teens are looking for some place to fit in.
Sola

What did you learn from your experience with Alicia? If you could do it all again, would you do things in the same way or would you do things differently?

http://www.jeubfamily.com Chris Jeub

The crux of our book “Love in the House” goes deep into this.

Calla

Really? “Our message here is completely inconsistent with our actions, but if you buy our book, it’ll answer all your questions!”

Why would I want to buy your book when your actions and statement here appear completely hypocritical? Why would I believe I can learn anything from you to take into my Christian walk?

http://www.jeubfamily.com Chris Jeub

Okay, don’t buy our book. Judge without knowledge, if you wish.

Calla

I shouldn’t have to buy your book to get a simple answer to a simple question from someone who claims to have a ministry about what appears to be hypocrisy. Appearing to be a hypocrite makes you into potentially a stumbling block, and that should be deeply concerning to you — not an opportunity to try and make money.

Your interpretation of 1 Peter 3:15 seems a bit off, Chris.
Jennifer

It’s not a matter of judging without knowledge. You just refuse to give answers without anyone buying your book.

Sola

A quick answer will do, you don’t have to go deep into it

http://www.jeubfamily.com Chris Jeub

Well, the whole point of the book is to wrestle with what we would do differently, focusing on love. This entire website — and our books, our business, our family, our faith — seeks to put love in the center. We blog quite a bit about it (this post is reminiscent of the theme of love), but the book goes much deeper.

Rebecca

I think you are trying to evade the question. Sola asked you if you learned anything from your treatment of Alicia and would you do anything differently. You’re just advertising your book in response?!

Are you not answering because your answer would seem hypocritical when compared to your actions? Sorry, but I’m not buying that you think teens are awesome because if you did you would have supported Alicia instead of throwing her out.
Jenna

Can you just answer her question without the book? Everyone knows money is tight now in this economy. Are you refusing to answer because you wouldn’t do anything differently with Alicia if you could?

if you’re saying you love teenagers, then why did you throw her out? Are you refusing to answer Sola’s legitimate question because it would show the divide between your actions and your words?

Please don’t delete my comment. I’m curious and asking this respectfully.