People are genuinely interested in large families, but every once in a while we get the snarky attitude. Here’s how we respond to such attitudes.

We receive two kinds of questions:

• How do YOU deal with negative comments about YOU?
• How do you deal with a culture that looks down on big families?

First answer: we ignore them. There are TV gossip sites that enjoy judging everyone and anyone that appear on television. I guess we’re of the crowd that gets judged. We pray seriously about every media opportunity that comes our way, and we’re confident that God has used those opportunities to touch people’s hearts. We live transparent lives. Sure, this gives some an opportunity to judge us, but it gives us the opportunity to live free. Why fear the words of judgmental men and women?

Second answer relates to any family who has more than, say, two kids. “How do you deal with a culture that looks down on big families?” Answer: We don’t believe in this presumption. This isn’t just an opinion; we really don’t think we live in such a culture. Who says the culture looks down on big families? Hollywood, maybe, but not regular people we run into. When we venture into Wal-Mart with a dozen-plus kids in tow, without exception we get asked if they are all ours. Daring ones ask us more valuable questions like how we manage them all, how we feed them, etc. Again, this gives us an opportunity to be transparent and share honest answers. This FAQ section is an example of our transparency, and it is one of the most popular areas of our Web site.

People do not “look down” on big families. People are curious. Since we live transparent lives free from others’ snappy judgments, we’re more than happy to share our experiences. We’re “live and let live” folks. If God is calling you to have two kids, by all means, have two kids. You’ll be like most couples in the world, and that’s fine, and our family of 15 children will continue to marvel you. God’s calling for you–how He convicts you personally–is what is important.

“Conviction” is a beautiful concept for followers of Christ, and our obedience to allow God to bless us with children stems from a personal conviction. Here’s the kicker: this question is asked by parents who are experiencing the same conviction. This FAQ is for them. How will YOU deal with the negative comments? Here’s our suggestion: ignore them.

You see, there really is no criticism that can penetrate genuine godly conviction. God is love (1 John 4:16), and he loves you and me and convicts us to follow his calling. What is so bothersome about that? The only bother is when we listen to the presumption–the so-called “culture”–and how we should look and act and live like everyone else. If we all listened to the culture, we would have no leaders, no innovation, no heroes, no martyrs. Do you want to have faith like that of a martyr? Walk in God’s path, even if it means walking into condemnation from the culture.

We hesitate to equate ourselves with martyrdom, or claim that we are persecuted. We can hardly call the joyful life of 15 children “persecution.” Our life is filled with unfettered joy–and it’s nonstop around here. This joy is the direct consequence of having so many blessings running around the house, which is, frankly, a direct result of following our personal convictions. If God is calling you and your spouse to have another child, go for it. Be honest with yourself: you’re on this Web site for a reason, and if you need validation to break from the norm and have another child, you just found it.

The snippy comment from a gossiper rolls off our backs, and they should roll off of yours, too.

Media opportunities come quickly, are captured and edited quickly, and are in front of the world quickly. It is very difficult to stay on top of the media events.

The best way to stay up-to-date with the Jeubs in the media is to subscribe to this blog. We will post when we receive word of media events.

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Our hope is that the media coverage of our family encourages other families.

The life of a family of 17 is never boring, full of excitement and challenge, and we wouldn’t trade if for the world. No wonder large families are an interest. The media demand for an explanation of Jeub-like homes is big, and we expect it will only get bigger.

But life must go on: home school, business, chores, etc. all need to keep movin’ along. Therefore, we have rationed our media life to little spurts of attention. The following are blog postings of media events as they occurred in chronological order:

2006

• From Still-Life to Pro-Life — Focus on the Family
• The Jeubs on The Learning Channel (1) — Filming of the TLC show
• The Jeubs on The Learning Channel (2) — Filming of the TLC show
• The Jeubs on The Learning Channel (3) — Filming of the TLC show
• The Jeubs on The Learning Channel (4) — Filming of the TLC show
• The Jeubs on The Learning Channel (5) — Filming of the TLC show
• The Jeub Birthday Bash — Filming of the TLC show
• Reflections on Our TLC Experience — TLC
• “Kids by the Dozen” — TLC

2007

• The Jeubs — Focus on the Family with John Fuller
• Baker’s Dozen — Colorado Springs Gazette
• “Kids by the Dozen” — TLC (formerly The Learning Channel”)
• Radio Interview — KTLF
• Monument Publishing Book Fair — Monument, CO
• Our 2007 Photo Montage — By Lydia jeub

2008

• Wendy on the Radio — KBIQ
• The Jeubs in 2008 — By Lydia Jeub, future media extraordinaire

2009

• And Now It’s CBS — CBS filming
• Life With a “Quiverfull” Family — Reuters
• Another Photo Montage — Tracy Bookman Photography
• Our “Secret” Life — Quiverfull Moms
• Inside the “Quiverfull” Movement — WE-tv’s “Secret Lives of Women”

2010

• A Family Heritage of Hunting — Franklin Springs Productions on a family elk scouting trip. Chris and several the children were featured.
• JeubFamily YouTube Channel — We launched our own YouTube channel where we film our family on helpful family tips.
• Other than that, 2010 was a rather quiet year!

We actually spend only $300 on Christmas every year.

We received a question from Maria asking how we budget for Christmas. We surprise people when we say we spend roughly $300 during the month of December specifically for Christmas gifts. Here are some principles we live by throughout the year to make sure we’re prepared during the Christmas season.

1. We shop all year long. If we are at a garage sale in June, for instance, we may see a great deal on a toy that we can’t pass up. Every sale we come by, we ask ourselves, “Should we save it for Christmas?” After buying it, we’ll stuff it in our closet. We have a few boxes of stuff in our closet that are “hands off” for the kids. We pull these boxes out around December 1 and sort through them all and make a list to make sure everyone gets a gift.

2. We keep to a list. All our kids get the following from Mom & Dad: 1 present, 1 book, and 1 stocking stuffer. We wrap all this on Christmas Eve after the kids go to bed. Our kids traditionally get up on Christmas morning to see a floor full of gifts under the tree. We don’t veer from our list; everyone gets the same quantity from Mom & Dad.

3. We emphasize gifts to each other. Mom & Dad aren’t the major gift-givers in our family. The kids spend December making gifts for each other, visiting the dollar store, and wrapping gifts to place under the tree. Already (today’s Dec. 4) there are about a dozen gifts wrapped and sitting under the tree.

4. We don’t give a lot to relatives and friends. We have nieces and nephews that we send gifts to, and they are, truthfully, a bigger part of our budget than our own kids. Friends don’t get a lot from us. We also don’t give to adult relatives anymore. We used to do this in our 20s, but we don’t do it anymore. We don’t feel like we’re missing anything, either.

5. We exchange Christmas letters. We pour a lot of time and energy into creating a Christmas letter that we send to approximately 300 families (we post it online, too, sometime in December). We can’t afford to give gifts to all our friends, but we don’t really feel the need to. We love our friends and we’re glad to share the Christmas season with them through letters. We take each Christmas letter we receive and tape it to the wall. By Christmas, we have hundreds of pictures, letters and cards covering our dining room wall. It is quite the conversation piece in our home. There is usually a family picture of families bigger than ours!

6. We emphasize the spiritual roots of Christmas. Gifts are awesome, and it is a great amount of fun to have the gifts stack up under the tree throughout December. We hold off on our gifts till Christmas morning. For one, this builds excitement for the kids. But more importantly, we spend Christmas Eve celebrating the Ultimate Gift of Jesus Christ to the world. Every kid prepares a “gift” to Jesus (a song, poem, speech, picture–something of their talents), we read the Christmas story from the Bible, and we sing Happy Birthday to Jesus.

That’s how the Jeubs do it! Do you have ideas on how to celebrate the Christmas season without being caught up in the expense of it all? Post your ideas in the comments section below.

Visit the Samaritan Ministies website for information on this exciting network of Christians taking care of one another. We highly recommend Samaritan Ministries!

Health insurance costs are at an all-time high, and being self-employed is definitely a challenge for us in this regard. Being employed full-time for years, we took health insurance for granted. After becoming self-employed, our views since then have changed considerably.

We now are happy members of an innovative gathering of Christian folks at Samaritan Ministries. The concept, we believe, returns to the fundamental idea of what insurance used to be, a group of people paying premiums for two purposes:

• to insure themselves from large medical expenses
• to assist others from large medical expenses

Most health insurance options aren’t that way anymore. Folks on health insurance often see their insurance as “free medical care,” and such views are quite common. Unfortunately, when this common view is carried out, it exhausts the entire system and costs go up for everyone. When so many are trying to get the most out of their insurance, premiums sky rocket. This isn’t stellar economics; it makes perfect sense that this happens.

Samaritan is different. When we have a medical expense, we pay cash for it. This often results in 40-50% off the sticker price of medical care (interesting…another problem with the health care industry…bloated prices). We then submit the claim to Samaritan, and we receive checks from others who have joined the cooperative.

We, in turn, regularly give to people on our list. We are required to send one big check every month. We are also sent a prayer list for published needs in a monthly newsletter. We sometimes send checks to people in need based on the published needs. We have also received checks from people who have read of our medical needs. This builds the sense of community among everyone involved.

We love this community. Some cynics have doubted whether such a system could work, that eventually the system would be taken advantage. We suppose some abuse does penetrate the system, but we have yet to witness it. God has been faithful in the development of this network. The folks at Samaritan do a great job monitoring the network and weeding out those who are attempting to soak its resources. It is all very good.

Sure, we have to pay cash for our medical expenses rather than paying a co-payment, but we have found this to be a most liberating method of fulfilling our medical needs. Visit www.samaritanministries.org/works for more information on the nuts-and-bolts of how it works. And mention the Jeubs referred you!

UPDATE: Our son Micah had a fist fight with a table saw, launching us into an emergency room visit and a follow-up surgery. We blogged about the process, giving a real-life example of how Samaritan works. Check out our September 2011 post here: How We Cover Our Medical Bills Every Time.

Moms of 16 children are not your typical candidates for diet books. But Wendy sure is. Her 2008 book is still a great seller, and for good reason. Here’s her response to the frequently asked question….

Wendy chronicles her journey in weight loss in her book Love in a Diet.

Losing weight is a trial when you are having a baby and nursing every year! I struggled for many years before I found “the key” for me. I decided one day that I was going to find out why I was overweight. I went and bought a new notebook and just started to write down everything I put in my mouth, even a mint. I simply ate like I always did for about a week and found that I was eating way too many calories. I won’t tell you how many (sheepish grin). Then I analyzed my log and thought of ways I could cut back on my unhealthy habits.

The result? I lost 50 pounds! That was years ago and I have had many more kids since–one set of twins. I made it a regular habit to write down everything I ate, analyze the list, and figure out where I could feasibly cut back.

I also learned to move more. I really didn’t exercise much other than chase kids and keep the house clean. I would consistently remind myself that I didn’t need to be sitting around long. When I would feel the temptation to sit around, I would tell myself, “Wendy, get up and move!” So my motto to lose weight is, “Eat less, Move more!” Even bouncing your foot when you have to sit is burning calories. I came up with this plan out of necessity: I knew I couldn’t join a fitness center or Weight Watchers.

Another important thing about my weight loss was being relaxed, not desperate, about it. I did stick to the real foods, real butter, real cream, eggs. I didn’t just eat egg whites but the whole egg. I didn’t buy any diet food. I read all the labels. I bought a food book that showed calories. I cut out white flour and white sugar as much as I could. Another trick I found was to try to eat every two hours even if it was just three bites of an apple of a few crackers.

I would not stuff myself at mealtime and would look forward to a little snack later. In the morning, as soon as my eyes open, I would take 3 bites of something to break the fast of overnight. See, what I learned was when you starve yourself your body just goes into starvation mode and hangs onto everything so you don’t really lose weight. If you put 3 bites of somthing into your tummy every 2 hours and eat small meals your body can “trust” you and will drop the weight. I saved desserts for special parties and would be right back at it the next day. Sure, I had some days that I would overeat, but the key was to get back at it the next day. Have more good days than bad. Drink your eight or so glasses of good water every day. Soup is huge. A cup of soup is very satisfing but doesn’t stuff you.

I figured that my stomach was a muscle and that I needed to shrink it. I was used to eating too much at once. I didn’t think anything of 3rds at supper time! Now I am content with a simple serving at mealtime and small healthy snacks throughout the day.

I had to watch out for false guilt. I hated to see things get thrown out, and I used to often finish my children’s meals after dinner. I prayed and asked God to help me not to feel responsible for every scrap. He always met me there! So I stopped finishing any of the kids plates or anything else.

The transformation has been so dramatic that some of my friends have asked me what happened to my face! My brother saw me after 3 years and he said I was 1/2 the size I used to be. I dropped 5 sizes.

Buy Wendy’s book today!

Many of our parenting techniques are outlined in Love in the House.

If this article sparks your interest, you might enjoy working with families and children full time. Earn a human services degree online and start a career as a Family Life Educator.

Recognizing that sibling rivalry has been around since Cain and Abel can relieve much of the pressure. Kids will fight; they’re wired that way. The Jeub kids are no exception. However, we have applied some helpful rules in our home that keeps fighting at a minimum.

1. Setting Tone. Either Mom and Dad set the tone in the family, or someone or something else will. You don’t want it to be set by a bunch of fighting kids. Turn the TV off (or get it out of your house altogether), because TV shows typically make a joke about sibling rivalry. Starting the day off with devotions and discussions about how to get along with one another helps. When Mom and Dad are cool tempered and easy going, their children usually follow.

2. Routine. Fights typically start up when there is a bit of chaos going on in the home. When we (the parents) veer from our schedule, fights inevitably rise up. Instead, when the family routine is unfolding and kids are part of the events of the day, fights don’t happen nearly as often.

3. The Fighting Rule. We don’t have a rule that says, “No fighting.” Kids need to learn how to handle conflicts with one another. Our rule is simple and works most of the time. “If Mom and Dad need to get involved, both will get what they DON’T want.” This sometimes ends with unfair rulings (some fights are started by one ill-mannered kid), but they are the exception. If the kids, instead of going to Mom or Dad, choose to beat each other up in the other room (an abusive situation), we parents will consider Mom or Dad needing to get involved even when the kids don’t come to us initially.

4. Kids’ Personalities. Some of our kids are sweet natures and seldom get into fights. Others are controlling, manipulative, or annoying. We try to focus on behavior instead of personalities. Focusing on personality usually leads to a subtle ridiculing of a particular child and a favoring of the “sweeter” ones. Love that “annoying” child, but work with him or her to correct unpleasant behavior.

5. Apologizing. When the kids offend another child, we “make” them apologize. Sure, their hearts may still be angry with their sibling, but we believe at least “faking it” is helpful. They inevitably grow to see the benefits of forgiveness and love. Our kids have grown up in an atmosphere where saying sorry is easily done and accepted. This apologizing isn’t limited to the kids, either; Mom and Dad often apologize when our tempers get the best of us and we fail to be as “cool” as we should be.

Those are five tips that have worked well in the Jeub home. We would love to hear from you what your tips are. Use the comment section below to let us know what worked for you…

The Jeubs are pictured here fighting as play.

Wendy's two cookbooks, Love in the House Vol. 1 and 2, are available in our bookstore.

We have published two cookbooks in the past two years that are specially designed for frugal families. Here is a list of common meals and an explanation of how they are easily expandable (i.e. we can make a lot of it) and how they are inexpensive to make.

1. Marinated Pork Ribs. We typically find pork ribs on sale at our local supermarket. We buy up a bunch when they drop below $1 per pound. We marinate them and grill them. We all love pork ribs served with mashed potatoes.

2. Crock pot meals. Mom has a knack for mixing up basics such as a can of soup, rice/potatoes, and some meat. These are nice for if we are on the go for the day, because we can come home to a meal that has been cooking without supervision. Popular varieties are Tater Tot Hotdish, Chicken n’ Rice and Elk n’ Potato Layers.

3. Italian Pasta. With the help of a Sam’s Club size can of tomato sauce, we can easily feed our family and others. We spice and stretch the sauce with hamburger, then serve it over spaghetti, macaroni, or egg noodles. We often substitute hamburger with shredded zucchini that makes it stretch the penny.
4. Tacos. We buy large packages of tortillas and corn chips for these. Many hands in the kitchen are needed to help shred cheese and chop our lettuce, tomatoes, and olives. With beans, hamburger, and sour cream, everyone designs their own burrito. Another favorite is taco plate or salad, which combines all ingredients to be served over chips. We buy nacho chips at Sam’s Club also to save money.

5. Soups and Salads are a snap when simple things are on hand. Egg, tuna, and chicken salads can be made into sandwiches or sides by adding pasta or bread. Soups are common and fun because they can consist of any dried or canned veggie simmered for awhile.

6. Meat pies are old fashioned and don’t require many side dishes. After it has pressure cooked, any beef, elk, pork, or chicken can be chopped into a crust with gravy and vegetables.

7. Rolling Meals. A good tip to help stretch meals is to roll them into each other. Start with Spaghetti one day, and use the leftover sauce as a base for chili the next. Any chicken n’ rice can be spiced up into an asian meal the next evening with soy sauce.

8. Pizza. Another favorite is Pizza. Many crusts work well if they are rolled out and topped with leftover Spaghetti sauce and Mozzarella cheese. Add any topping you like from pepperoni and sausage to pineapple and onions.

9. Breakfast can be difficult on rushed mornings. We have come to avoid breakfast cereal due to the amount of sugar and air. Oatmeal is far more nutritious and it is warm and filling. Donuts and cake are not to be pushed away in our house. After all, they contain equal if not more nutrients than most cereals, and are easy to serve. On the weekends, we make what we call a “Big Breakfast” consisting of meat, eggs, toast, and potatoes.

10. Bread. I find myself looking for extra time to make a fresh biscuit or bun for a meal. Experimenting with different recipes will help, and chilling the dough ahead of time is also helpful.

Parents of large families typically have great marriages.

We must be good at this, because we keep having kids! We go out on dates about every-other week. We role a shopping list into a quick meal, and we call it a date. Having teenagers at home able to watch the kids makes this possible. Our hearts go out to parents with very small children; finding a good babysitter is something we haven’t had to wrestle with for many years.

When your children are very small and you feel you need a break, we suggest that you find another family in the same situation. Trade off babysitting afternoons or evenings. We did this many years ago before we had teenage kids. We had a regular schedule worked out with another family so every Friday night we either watched their kids or they watched ours. It was great!

About once every-other year we “get away” to Estes Park for a rendezvous. This last year some friends offered us their log cabin in the winter to enjoy. It was a great blessing!

This is a great question! It is usually asked by parents who spend a good deal of time with their one or two children, then do the math and find out they need 25 hours in a day to fit it in for a family our size. “It is impossible,” they reason, “so a family of 13 kids must be more neglected than a small family.”

Large families know that this isn’t the case. We believe it is because parents are overly emphasized. The kids help each other and develop sibling relationships that, amazingly, substitute for the need for parents to fill that relational need. We try to find time for all our kids and work hard to accommodate, but we often will group them together. The older kids often stay up later than the little ones to enjoy one another or have the deeper conversations that they require.

Other ideas that allow us to find time for each child:

• Chris takes one kid to work one per week. It takes nearly three months to work through all the kids, but the time is rich.
• I (Wendy), when having to run to the store for something, will take one child. This gives me the time to talk individually with him or her.
• When a child brings me a cup of coffee in the morning, I take the time to talk with them.
• I give the child one-on-one time in our daily school.
• We pray corporately at night before sending the kids to bed, but I (Wendy) tuck the kids in bed individually.