“Mothers hold their children’s hands for a short while, but their hearts forever.”

~ Author Unknown

I'll be speaking May 18. I hope you can join me!

I’m speaking next week in Colorado Springs, sharing the good news of Love in the House. If you can make it, I want you to go for reasons I’ll share with you. First, the details:

HOMESCHOOL CONFERENCE/FAIR
Date: May 18
Location: Mountain Springs Woodmen Campus
LAMS, the Mountain Springs homeschool enrichment program, is hosting its 2nd annual homeschool mini-conference and book fair on Friday, May 18 from 8:00am-2:30pm. The keynote speaker will be Treon Goossen, Home Education Legislative Analyst/Liaison for Colorado. There will be morning and afternoon breakout sessions with multiple topics and speakers to choose from. The book fair will be open all day. It is a great opportunity to sell last year’s curriculum and get started buying for next year. The cost for the event is $15 for pre-registration, or $18 at the door. If you are interested in participating, please contact Kelly Rotenberry at 719.332.9267 or majestictouch@elpasotel.net.

I’m pretty excited about this speech. I can’t wait to share it with the good people at Mountain Springs Church. I’ll also be on a panel of Q & A homeschool moms over the lunch period. It’ll be fun!

Here’s my central theme: how to put more “Love in the House.” Chris and I wrote a book with that title, and part of my story will reveal the characteristics of loving homes: loving responses, loving choices, and loving actions.

You may be thinking: “I love my children.” I know you wouldn’t say otherwise. You want to keep them fed and clean and safe, you want to protect them from getting hurt and so on. You do love them. They are your sweet little bundles of joy.

But maybe your feelings sometimes do not measure up with your honest love for your children. Maybe you’re having a hard time separating truth from lies. Are you fed up and want to run away? I want to encourage you (and show you how) to shove those irritating lies out of the way and cling to the truth of love. Love is the Greatest Commandment, and it is the one thing that will overcome your frustrations. Ultimately, love will fill your house and heal your family.

See, I have a powerful story about the transformation of love in my life. I came from a difficult upbringing, but my journey with Jesus Christ has brought me a most wonderful life. By the end of my speech, my hope is that every person present will be empowered to put love in their homes. Of all the things in life that we should “get right,” love is the most important. Sometimes we just need to be shown how!

I hope to see you there!

Last week when we posted our new About Us page. We encouraged parents to pursue joy in their homes by learning along with our family the wonderful depths of love. We got this email asking a very good question:

HOW does one parent with love? I am struggling with wanting to do anything BUT raise my kids. I am expecting [another child] and I want to run away. I try to spend time in prayer and God’s word but my heart is not changing. This is not a new thing – I’ve felt this way for more than a year.

Wow, this is intense. Chris and I spend so much time trying to persuade people that they should love. Funny how we have to do that. But once persuaded, how do you love? The answer to that could fill a book. Let me share with you the steps I suggested to this online friend who asked an honest question, “How do I parent with love?”

1. Step 1: Recognize that there is a problem

It’s much too easy to fall into a blame game when there is tension in the home. We dodge responsibility in our attempt to justify our frustration. Don’t do that! Instead, be honest with yourself and admit that there is a problem. When we admit that a problem exists, we can take the situation to heart. You’re already on the road to finding an answer to your struggle.

This also keeps us from being mean to our kids, our spouse or ourselves. We tend to beat ourselves up for “feelings.” Having the “feeling” of running away does not make you a bad person. Running away does, but all of us have “take me away!” Calgon moments. Don’t beat yourself up for that.

Feelings are like pain. They don’t do anything but expose a problem. Feelings are just, well, feelings. We shouldn’t give into them, but see them as indicators that something is wrong that deserves our attention.

2. Step 2: Separate the lies from the truth

Truth is, you love your children. You wouldn’t say otherwise. Every parent – even the most dysfunctional – will insist she loves her children. You want to keep them fed and clean and you want to protect them from getting hurt and so on. You do love them. They are your sweet little bundles of joy.

Your feelings right now do not measure up with your honest love for your children. You’re fed up (the truth) and thinking of running away (the lie). In fact, shove that irritating lie out of the way; running away is silly to think about. It wouldn’t solve a thing and would blow up your family. It just isn’t an option, so forget it. Don’t stand for the lies of the Enemy who wants to ruin the good life you have built with your spouse and children.

Relax, you do not have to be a perfect parent (perhaps that’s another lie you fell for?) anymore than your children have to be perfect kids (I hope you’re not expecting that).

Here are some popular lies vs. truths out there:

• Truth: my child is failing is school. Lie: my child should be perfect.
• Truth: I’m frustrated with my spouse. Lie: my spouse should be perfect.
• Truth: I’m tired of getting my kids to do chores. Lie: my kids are lazy and won’t ever learn to do their chores.
• Truth: my home is filled with little kids. Lie: my children will always be small and I’ll always be running after littles.
• Truth: we’re going through a difficult time. Lie: we’ll always be going through a difficult time.

See how the lies derail you from focusing on the problem? You end up overwhelmed, helpless, thinking the only way out is to run away. Refuse to give into the lies. When you refuse, you’re more apt to come up with solutions.

3. Step 3: Change what you can

It may seem awkward or wooden at first, but do the things that you know you should do. First think it, then do it. The feelings will follow.

In Love in The House I write about that very thing:

“We all have choices to make, and choosing to love your children is the greatest of all choices. Failing to consciously make the choice to love can unfortunately, hinder your relationship with your children.”

For example, perhaps you’ve not felt inclined to treat your kids with affection. It may feel fake at first, but do things that show your affection for your kids. Give your daughter a hug and say you love her, even if you don’t feel like doing it. If you don’t feel like showing affection, at least you can pretend. Go through the motions. You will find that as you go through the motions, your feelings catch up with your behavior.

We can’t live our lives being dragged around by our negative feelings. When we feel it first before doing it, we usually regret our actions. Learn to do it the other way around.

I am amazed at how well this works. Instead of feeling like I used to feel – being dragged around by my negative feelings – I can instead put myself in charge by simply changing my thoughts.

I have felt this way too. I can identify with “take me away!” feelings. If I could give you a hug, I would! Of course, these steps to love are just scratching the surface. Does anyone else have any suggestions for this hurting mom?

Ken Davis with us at the SCORRE Conference in Georgia.

Wendy and I attended the SCORRE Conference last week with Ken Davis, Michael Hyatt and about 80 of the neatest people we’ve ever met. It was awesome – it comes with our highest recommendation. While the conference is intended for solidifying speaking skills, for us it was much more. It helped us solidify some of our core convictions.

1. What in the world is our platform, anyway?

Ken Davis has become a good friend of the Jeubs. I had Ken speak at our Training Minds Camp, and I have begun working for Ken Davis Productions on event and product promotions. Ken and his team have been very encouraging to the both of us on how we shape and execute our Jeub Family message. We haven’t always hit the mark, but we have been blessed with several assets. When we really sit back and think about what we could talk about, we have a lot going on:

• We have 16 children
• We lead a ministry for speakers and debaters
• We educate our children at home
• We write books on healthy living
• We like to cook and write cookbooks
• We advocate for financial stewardship
• We enjoy self-employment and are entrepreneurs
• We hunt with our teenagers

This list could go on. Interesting stuff, sure, but you know what? We could never really nail down a platform. The list above may be our interests, but it isn’t necessarily our platform. Michael Hyatt, who is coming out with a book this month with that very name Platform, challenged us to figure this out. The SCORRE method demanded it. So we have narrowed it down…

2. Our Platform Is Love

Now that’s what we’re talking about! Love is the Greatest Commandment, and we light up when we talk with other parents about how important this is – or at least how important it should be. We’re not making this up from last week alone; we’ve been preaching love for years! Check out the titles of our books:

• Love in the House (2007)
• Love in the Kitchen Vol. 1 (2008)
• Love in the Kitchen Vol. 2 (2010)
• Love in a Diet (2009)
• Love Another Child (2011)

To be honest, we feel ourselves get off track – sort of lose our way – when we think other things should take center stage. They really shouldn’t. Love is it.

For example: our large family. I know many of our readers are large family folks, and by all means, we are all thumbs up and commend you for your parenting! But you probably already agree: large families without love is nothing to be admired. We’re wrong to think perhaps the size of our family is what makes us special. Not so. It’s love. An awesome family life is possible with two kids just as it is with twenty. Which leads to our conviction…

3. We Need to Speak About Love

Everything we talk about should be about love. We have to be almost annoying about it. When it comes to the central purpose of living, few are talking about love. As already mentioned, love is the Greatest Commandment, yet outside of your typical pop song, hardly anyone is talking about it. How peculiar that love is sung by immoral, drugged out rock stars, yet we challenge you to find a church Statement of Faith that ventures into the topic. We’re afraid it’s a sign of the times.

Forgive us. Once in a while we get off track. We’re passionate about a lot of things, but the one thing that we can tag as a true conviction is love. Re-read the list of interests at the top of this blog post. We really don’t care if you don’t do any of those things. We can still be friends.

But if you blow off love, we’re going to take issue with you. A life without love is misery. You will raise angry, bitter kids. Your marriage will be hell. Your neighbors will be distant. You will exit this life as a huge, deflated disappointment.

So we revamped our About Us page. Would you mind reading it? We would very much appreciate your feedback. We don’t have a comment section on the actual About Us page, but come back to this article and let us know what you think. This is a work in progress, and you are a most valued reader. Thank you!

Micah made these trophies for the Gold Nugget Lincoln-Douglas Debate Tournament.

I attended a tournament yesterday, one that I had absolutely no time to run. My club ran it, my ministry funded it, my students participated in it, and my kids all helped out – but I didn’t have the time to pull it together. Creativity came through and made it happen, which leads to a pretty profound reminder of how incredible “creativity” is.

Let me explain. The league that my family participates in (Stoa Speech & Debate) allows people to run their own tournaments. Ultimately, the league provides just one tournament – the national invitational at the end of the year – but thousands of parents run hundreds of tournaments all over the country. Guidelines are followed to determine who qualifies to receive an invitation to the National Invitational Tournament of Champions (NITOC), and that tournament is a huge operation. NITOC hosts approximately 500 students and their families for a week full of competition and festivities.

And guess who’s running the tournament this year? Your’s truly, Chris Jeub.

So when my small club came to me a few weeks ago and asked to do a 1-day tournament, I said no. I’m swamped! The students begged to do it. I had much greater demands with running the national tournament, how could I add a rinky-dink tournament to my list? The students (and a few parents along with them) were insistent that it would take little-to-no time from me. I finally buckled and agreed.

Running a tournament is no small feat. I don’t care to explain all the details of running one, but trust me, there’s a lot to do. My point is this: the dedication of making it happen stirred some of the most creative ideas. Every problem that arose – rather than leading to panic or regret or hesitation – led to creative solutions to solve those problems. It was awesome to witness!

Like the financial stress of this “little” tournament. The only church building we could secure cost $850. With registration fees, we would have had to get 35 registrants to even come close to breaking even. We ended up with 14 students, a very small turn out. What to do? Cancel? Beg the church to come down in price? Find a donation somewhere from someone we think has money? One family – the volunteer family who was in charge of the food – offered their home. That was thinking out of the box! But why not? They had a large home with plenty of rooms. With a little bit of creative thought, we ended up saving $850, expanded our food budget, and had a cozy time in Larkspur hosting this small tournament. What a blessing that was!

Another example: Trophies. They’re such a waste of money, and we parents complain about them a lot. When money is tight, it’s difficult to fork up so much to buy cheap plastic awards. Why not make them? The directors asked my son, Micah, to hand-make the trophies. The tournament was called the Gold Nugget, so he whipped up some spray-painted rocks and put them on some platforms. Check them out in the picture. Not too bad, eh? Micah came up with the “Go-LD” tags (more creative genius: the only event at this tournament was Lincoln-Douglas “LD” debate). The kids were thrilled with the creativity of the awards.

My point is this: creativity solved our problems. Whenever we were faced with an obstacle, the directors bravely took on the task of finding a solution. There was no panic or doubt; just a determination to figure a way through it. In the end, we had a great time, we qualified a couple students who otherwise wouldn’t have gone to NITOC, and we were pleasantly pleased with the Saturday of competition. In fact, though it was one of the smallest tournaments I have ever been to, it was one of the coziest, friendliest, most enjoyable of my life.

Isn’t that great? We should make creativity a way of life. Yesterday’s tournament was a reminder to me how important this is.

My sister, Tabitha, creating what she loves.

“When you are writing without a contract, you feel as though everything you say is completely worthless (technically it is, until you get a contract).” —Donald Miller, Blue Like Jazz

Prior to the release of Blue Like Jazz, Donald Miller had written several books, but none of them had earned him a name. By the time he was writing Blue Like Jazz, he was getting a bit discouraged, so there are several parts about writing discouragement and the hope for someday being a bestselling author. It’s ironic, because by the time most people read the book, it was a bestseller with 1.5 million copies sold, and now there’s a movie based on it.

Writing seems to be (and can be) pointless if there’s no contract behind it. This is why it’s necessary to find contracts, live up to them, and keep working on the things without contracts behind them.

A few months ago, I came across these “Rules of a creator’s life“:

1. Do more than you’re told to do.
2. Try new things.
3. Teach others what you know.
4. Make work into play.
5. Take breaks.
6. Work when others are resting.
7. Always be creating.
8. Make your own inspiration.
9. Love what you do, or leave.

These have ruled my days as I slowly build the work I’ve been doing. When I’m doing the work I must do for my contracts, I don’t neglect the writing I don’t yet have an obligation to do. If I waited around until the work was demanded, I would be out of practice and have a load of work to do. I’d much rather have half the work done when the task needs to be finished. That’s why, among my other published works, I have hundreds of pages of writing in progress.

It’s also why I’ve been blogging every day. Writing consistently keeps me working and creating, and it helps me to improve. My blog is cynthiajeub.com, and I’d appreciate your visit there.

We’ve all offended people before, and you probably can recall some times when the offense becomes unsalvageable. No matter how much you attempt to explain yourself, the person just will not accept your sincerity.

But what if your entire life is offensive? Our message of parenting, children, love and Jesus is our life, not just a misspoken word or conflict. We offend people. Sometimes without having a utter a single word. We try to articulate ourselves – that’s really what our blog, our books, Facebook venues are all about – but sometimes to no avail.

Is your life one big misunderstanding to your church friends, family members, or neighbors? You try to explain yourself in the best spirit possible, but there is a resistance. A disgruntled wall that cuts you down. It keeps you from speaking your mind and settling misunderstandings.

If you are doing something out of the ordinary, you get what we are saying. The choices in your life demand an explanation. Perhaps you are

• an entrepreneur with an idea that is sure to take off,
• a church layman who feels called to ministry, or
• “just” a Christian who wants to uncover your love for Jesus to your not-so-understanding peers.

You are being transformed, but there are those in the shadows who want you to conform. 

Our blog and books attempt to explain how LOVE is the most important commandment, and that every child is a blessing. Believe it or not, this message is hostile to some. This boggles us. What is there to hate with the message of Love Another Child? Check out this comment…

Jesus Christ is my savior. But he gave me a brain. And no way did he tell the Jeub’s to have that many children while ignoring the rest of the world and the monsoon of problems ahead of us.

We enjoy challenging thoughts, so we’re surprised when people take offense. Sometimes we wonder if it is worth bringing up the sensitive topics at all.

When you’re plowing through with a unique message, it is easy to think one person’s opposing voice is representative of many. “Oh, what’s the use?” You contemplate quitting, crawling back to a simple life, giving up on the calling God has for you. “Perhaps this isn’t right after all…maybe God isn’t in on this like we thought.” The doubts eat you alive.

Then you get a comment like this:

Over the past few weeks I’ve been reading your blog. Originally I’ve been quietly simmering and hostile to your message. But I’ve changed my mind along the way. I would like to say, “I get it now”… Thanks for opening my eyes.

 Whoa.

God is in on this. He’s moving people’s hearts. Conforming to this world is just not all that interesting to us.

Weeks after my surgery, I can confidently say I'm fully recovered. No more talk of cancer!

Many have been asking for an update to my health, and this post is my attempt to bring you up to date. I had a tumor removed from my throat last month. Scary to think of, I know. Everything is fine now and I can finally say that I am fully recovered (praise God!). This is a long post, but I enjoyed writing it. It is nice to reflect on a traumatic experience and really see how God took care of me and my family.

January 27th was an exciting day. I drove Chris to Denver to fly out to Minnesota to help manage his first live Ken Davis comedy concert. I was planning to have fun with the kids: make popcorn and watch some Ken Davis videos (that’s who daddy is working for!). I returned home and got working. Without hardly a thought, I ate a raw carrot, a favorite snack of mine. As the evening wore on, I felt as if the carrot never made it all the way down. I kept swallowing, and the swallowing became difficult. We watched our movie and got everyone down for the night. By the time I went to bed, the swallowing was painful. I woke often in the night with this pain every time I swallowed. The pain shot up my chest and back and across my shoulders. It was a very uncomfortable night’s rest.

The next morning I tried to to push things through by eating a banana. It only added to my discomfort. I called my doctor, made an appointment, and asked a close friend to come over to be with the children. I told the doctor that I could not eat – only sip – and that swallowing caused me pain. He scheduled me for a dilation of the esophagus – a fairly standard procedure that I had five years ago – the next morning.

I needed to go in and have this procedure, but Chris was out of town (what bad timing!). My girl friends stepped up to help. I thank God for my church and friends; they are filled with wonderful ladies who helped by bringing over meals and watching kiddos. Poor Chris really wanted to be home for me but could not. I tried to tell him not to worry, that I would be fine, but he was still anxious being so far away. My friend Wanda took me to the hospital, such a good friend to take me in and even pray with me (she has six children herself!).

The procedure went fine. I woke up in my room and there was Wanda with a big smile on her face. Chris had already called and talked with Wanda. The pain in my esophagus was gone, finally! A nurse gave me juice to drink. I told her that I was a busy lady with 16 children. Pretty soon I had a couple nurses in the room all asking questions. Their curiosity helped me wake up. I was finally able to talk with Chris myself and I reassured him that I did feel better and that I was in good hands with Wanda and the room of nurses.

The Discovery of a Lump

We all thought the drama was over, but that was just the beginning. The surgeon discovered a lump in my throat, even took some pictures of it with the scope he used for the dilation. Another procedure was scheduled the next week to further investigate. This procedure Chris would be home. I was looking forward to him being with me. The thought of a lump in my throat was not reassuring, though I felt a peace about it and wasn’t too worried at the time.

This next procedure was an endoscopic ultrasound meant to measure the size of the lesion/lump and get a needle biopsy done. The lesion turned out to be bigger than first thought, measuring 5 cm, taking up about 3/4 of the space in my esophagus. This doctor was just as puzzled as the first. It was not ordinary. They started calling the lesion a “tumor,” but hesitated to call it cancer. It seemed like they didn’t want to say too much.

Another appointment was scheduled, an appointment to explain the news of the biopsy. We were told that some spindle cells were found and some atypical others that they just did not know much about. The biopsy was not conclusive, it could or couldn’t be cancerous. We began to wonder if the biopsy was even worth it. The doctors consistently seemed puzzled, insisting that the lesion was abnormal, unusually large, and “probably no big deal.” There was talk of the worst case scenarios – cancer and chemo – always coupled with the low probabilities. Still, hardly reassuring. All the analysis wasn’t adding up to much. The growth was in my throat, and any which way you looked at it, it needed to come out. But first, a CAT scan was scheduled.

Chris’s grandma had throat cancer in the 80s – so bad that she lost her voice box in the operation. He talked a lot with his mom, reconstructing the medical past that occurred back then in his family. The worst thoughts crept in. The CAT scan came and went, and we finally got a surgeon (a doctor who could actually do something about this problem). What a very nice man he was, he took the time to explain what needed to be done and he showed us a model of a throat and lungs and how everything in your chest area is so close together. He seemed very confident in what he had to do. He would go in through my right side through my ribcage and to my esophagus, peal from behind and capture the tumor in a mesh bag. The tumor was located in between the lining of my esophagus and towards the back off the left nearer to my heart. He, too, figured that the tumor was probably not cancerous and he would not be taking any lymph nodes.

Surgery

After analyzing our calendars, we decided the best time for surgery was the very next day. Whew! What a whirlwind the rest of that day was. We went home but I had to be back at the hospital later for pre-opt and blood draws. That night I went to sleep pretty exhausted. I woke very early the next morning but once again had to fast, as I had to check in just before 7:00 AM and we had a 40 minute drive.

Soon I was tucked in once again to a comfy bed and ready to go back to surgery. I woke up and felt very cold and I felt like I couldn’t breath very well. I asked the person on my left if they could hold my hand but I don’t remember much else. When I woke I saw Chris and was very glad. I also looked at the clock on the wall and it said 4 PM. Wow! It was late. I noticed that I was pretty uncomfortable and sure enough I could not speak up. My right arm was so sore I could hardly lift it. I could not get a deep breath and my ribs ached. I soon found out why I couldn’t get a deep breath: the surgeon had to collapse my right lung in order to get to the tumor, and I had a tube to drain fluid from my lung. He had used video assisted thoracic surgery to minimize incisions – which was good – but towards the end of the surgery he had to use regular tools as the tumor was a bit stubborn. All of this was much more painful that I had mentally prepared for.

I don’t remember much of the night at the hospital. I was pretty out of it, sort of a blessing as I was in a lot of pain. It was a difficult night as I kept waking up. The hospital was noisy, reminding me why I enjoy home birth, all sorts of noises and buzzers and beeps.

I felt a bit better the next morning. We never did turn on the TV. Chris read to me from one of my favorite books, The Hiding Place, and he read it with a funny Polish accent. I enjoyed listening to him and it passed the time. Wanda had my 3 older boys and Hannah at her house and she stopped by once without them and once with them. It was nice to have a visitor and to see some of the kids. I improved greatly as the day rolled on. The tube was taken out of my lung and I was able to take a shower. My blood pressure improved some and I was ready to go home.

The week was slow to recover. It took longer than we had anticipated. Friends whipped up a meal plan schedule, so very nice of them, keeping our large family well fed. I was on a liquid diet not able to swallow as I was still healing, but the meals added excitement to our home. The kids would wonder what was coming next.

Prognosis: Cancer Free!

We went back to the surgeon one week later. Though the surgery went fine, he told us that it was a little bit more involved then he expected. The good news was finally validated: the growth was totally benign. Yippee! He did say, though, that the tumor was not what he thought it was. He even presented it at a medical board earlier that week. The growth was called a Schwannoma, a tumor of the nerves, very rare to appear along the esophagus. He said it was only the 15th one found in the US, which explained why all the other doctors were puzzled by it. The surgeon said my lungs look beautiful and that I am very healthy and I should go and have a wonderful life.

Thank you for your thoughts and prayers. It was an unstable couple of months, but God’s hand was in it all the time. It means a lot to have good friends like you who will take time to pray and help out. I’m feeling very thankful and blessed.

There is something magical about a trophy. It’s like a flag, an symbol, a representation of excellence, hard work, sacrifice. All that it took to gain the award, and this is a benchmark that reminds you of that moment of achievement. This is your trophy.

I run an organization that trains young people to compete in academic speech and debate (see www.trainingminds.org). The art – arguably a sport – of forensics. I pool the greatest forensics coaches in the nation and run camps and write curriculum that trains junior high and high schoolers how to think, speak, and persuade.

Talk about excellence! These kids are the sharpest kids in the world. I’m telling ya, if you have a chance to attend a speech and debate tournament – and you see these suited up teenagers all proper and professional and polite and groomed – it’ll give you hope for the future.

There is a lot of grumbling about the future generation, the X and Y and Z generations, of postmodernism and apathy and whatever attitudes. Not these kids. Those who “train the mind for action” train in the arts of pathos, logos and ethos at a young age – just you wait to see them take over this world in the years to come.

I used a Bible verse there, perhaps you didn’t catch it. It isn’t that well known; it comes from 1 Peter 1:13, “Train the mind for action.” You may have heard of 1 Peter 3:15, “Always be prepared to give a reason for the hope which you have,” and that hope is Jesus Christ. But the earlier verse of 1:13 I believe carries more of a punch.

For the past dozen years we’ve been training these kids at our camps. And we have rocked the final rounds. Time after time our kids end up at the top brackets duking it out in the tournaments. I just love it. They may take home the trophies, but I post the results all over our website to say, “See! See! Our training works.” I’m so proud of our camps and our curriculum.

But let me tell you about what has been stirring in my heart for the past couple years. I suppose I could retire and let our camps grow and expand  – and they will! As if, “Yep, I built rockets and now they’re launching like crazy. Great…now onto other things.” To tell you the truth, friends, I have to admit that I’ve been sort of humbled by God, as if his voice has said, “Not just yet.”

See, God is asking me, “Do you really think the trophy is the action?” Really? See, the champions that we’ve been training have been telling me something. Ask any of the champs who have tasted victory if this trophy is it. It collects dust. It’s stored away in a box. And why should it be anything else? It’s a reminder of something that was, not what is.

“Train the mind for action.” We’ve got training down, but I want to launch these competitors into life. It’s like the last dozen years has been pouring the footings, the cement, the launching pad, the control station. We’re just getting started. And we’re wheeling on these rockets – these young fueled up speakers and debaters – to launch into the world and light it up!

Wendy and I celebrated our 21st anniversary last night at the Mona Lisa, a fancy restaurant in downtown Manitou Springs. Earlier in the week Wendy asked me to take her there. Our typical dates are Schlotzsky’s sandwiches (and we split a large) during an evening of grocery shopping. This restaurant is at least $50 a plate. Wow.

What if I would have said, “We cannot afford it”? We’re frugal people, right? Do frugal people eat a $100 fondu meal? Hardly. Like my son’s tennis shoes I blogged on a few days ago, the evening out could have been more wisely spent somewhere else.

But without hardly a second thought, I made reservations. I forked up the dough, and “we cannot afford it” didn’t cross my mind. “I cannot afford it” would have been a lie, and my wife would have sniffed that out better than my son with his shoes.

The truth is that both of these price tags carry about the same value: $100. Unless I make less than $100 per week, I can afford the $100 that week. My son and my wife are not asking me to “afford” this expense; they’re asking me to value the same thing as they value.

My wife wanted me to take her out to the Mona Lisa for our 21st anniversary. She values it enough to come up with her own money, I suppose (though our money is the same, which makes it a little more complicated). But you know what? It was worth every penny.